Non-Verbal Communication

This is one of those thoughts that comes up in my mind during almost every massage, and that I repeatedly forget about when the time comes to write a blog. Well, at long last, here it is! 

Non-verbal communication is what I depend on for a large percentage of massages I give. Here are some signs that I pick up on, and my interpretation of what they might mean to you, the client. PLEASE tell me if my interpretations are wrong, as I do use this information to guide the session. If I'm reading your signals wrong, I won't be giving you what you want, and that will make for a less than 100% satisfaction for you when we're done. 

Breath/Breathing

This is a hugely important strategy that you can use. A stand-alone deep sigh can mean you're finally beginning to relax. It might also mean I might need to back off from the intensity or the area that I've been working at. You can also sync your breath to the work I'm doing, so that you breathe in while I'm getting to the tight/tense/trouble spot, and then exhale as I zone-in and hold that spot. When I can sense you are doing this is one of my favorite things about giving massages. It means you and I are working together on this issue you have, and when we do that, you'll get the results you're after even faster. Here's what you need to know about this process: When I'm zoning-in on that spot, sometimes I need to hold into it longer than your breath cycle. For those times, I will ease up my pressure a little for you to inhale, and then I'll sink back into it as you exhale again.

Fidgeting or Flinching

You might fidget if the pressure is too much, or if I'm haven't found the right spot. A flinch might mean you're beginning to doze off and catch yourself, so you're alert again. You might also flinch if I've hit a nerve or an exceptionally tight band of muscle tissue. Depending on what my senses are telling me, I will probably check in with you to make sure you're okay. This is your opportunity to steer me back on track, tell me to lighten up or dig in deeper. Take advantage of this invitation to get what you want from your massage.

"Helping" 

This one tells me that you are not relaxed. Pretty much the only time I really need you to help is to lift your feet or knees so that I can move the bolster under them or take it out. I can usually get the leg drape without help, though lifting your leg is helpful if your skin has lost elasticity, and you NOT lifting your leg might result in me inadvertently pinching your skin as I try to tuck in the sheet. I'm working on improving that anyway. Those without skin elasticity concerns who do lift their leg make me nervous, that I might reach somewhere I don't intend when I tuck the sheet under your thigh. :-/

Holding

Holding also tells me you are not relaxed. I know sometimes it can be very difficult to relax. If you're getting your very first massage, or if it's been a very long time since your last massage can make it more difficult to relax--when you aren't really sure what to expect next. If you are one of those people who just have a hard time relaxing period, here's what you can do: Focus on your breathing, counting up to 8 while you breathe in, and then back down to zero as you exhale. It's good to take a pause between your exhale and inhale too. Another alternative to help relax is to really focus on what my hands are doing, specifically, how your body feels as I work on you.

Resisting

Resisting is a spin-off of holding. You might resist me as your body's way to protect itself if an area is particularly tight or sensitive. Some resistance can be prevented by me clearly communicating with you on what to expect, but other times, it's just your body's instinctive response. What can you do? For the former, I may give you a little wiggle or try to move your body in a way that distracts your mind from trying to anticipate what I'm doing. For the latter, get into your breath. Exhale as I'm working through that area of tension. 




Are you surprised by how much information I gather without you saying anything? I am quite fascinated by body language and am eager to learn more about it. These are the most prominent methods of non-verbal communication that I use and pick up on during sessions. As a client, do you try to communicate other ways with me that are not listed here? Let's talk about it, I'd love to learn what else I should be looking out for in my clients. 

Experience=Skill?

Dusting off the ol' blog, and hope to touch back once in a while with refreshing topics. Today, I share with you two greatly varying experiences of receiving massage. I'd love to hear feedback from your own experiences. Please share your comments below, or back at my Facebook page.

Experience #1--My Own Personal Experience

Last week, I went to my school for my (free for alumni) monthly massage. My student therapist was Veronica. I must say, I was quite impressed! She was very receptive to everything I said I was needing that day--a little more therapeutic than just relaxation as I had just begun my P90X workouts. Veronica's pressure was great. She asked about what kind of pressure I liked in our intake, and checked in with me a little bit into the massage. I said it could be just a little deeper, and she adjusted her pressure perfectly. I also asked her about doing glute work, as every massage I'd had at the school in the past 6 months, no one had worked my glutes, and I didn't know if that was a new clinic rule or something. She said it was not, and was happy to work my glutes (they're big muscles, and one of my favorite areas to get worked on!). 

As the massage was nearing the end, she had worked on my right arm, then went to my left. I felt like my right arm, particularly my triceps, needed a little more work thanks to the workout I'd done that day. She spent more time with my left before going back to my right. As I was already face up, she wasn't quite sure how to work my triceps as much as they needed. I suggested that one way would be for me to flip over, and have my arm off the side of the table, also to get into the lats that way. She quickly thought to bring my arm so my hand reached my opposite shoulder, and that worked well without needing to flip back over to my stomach again. I was impressed too, that Veronica didn't seem at all intimidated to be getting such feedback from a licensed therapist--I remember as a student or even newly LMT that I was a bit intimidated by having other LMTs as my client. 

All in all, she did a fabulous job, and I was completely satisfied. I can easily say she has been the best student therapist I've had since I've been going back to the school for massages. She'll be in clinic at Anthem College in Beaverton for another 5-6 weeks, so I definitely recommend going to see her if you happen to live/work in that area. It's $25 for a one hour (think 55min or so) massage, cash only. Call 503-906-9045 and ask for an appointment with Veronica. Appointments are Mon-Thurs at 2:15, 3:30, and 4:45. I'm not sure if there's later appointments than that currently. And let her know I sent you--I'm sure she would love to hear that!

Experience #2--Client Feedback From Massage at Massage Envy

Also last week, one of my regular clients (who has been through massage school, but is not yet licensed) emailed me after receiving a massage from a gift certificate that was given to her. Here's what she had to say: 

"So a friend gave me a free massage for Massage Envy. I used it tonight...the whole time I was just thinking about how it wasn't done very well.  Not really well at all actually. The therapist I had has been a LMT for eight years. I'm not a massage therapist, yet, but I'm pretty sure I do better than that. And I'm really not trying to be mean or anything. I mean it wasn't horrible, just very different from yours. (which I love!) Missing a part here and there, not very smooth or flowing, didn't do any compression before pulling the sheet down, just different. I found it interesting and wanted to say Thank you! By far, you are the best massage therapist I've met and I really enjoy and appreciate you and your services. :)"

What a contrast in experience, right? Not all therapists are a good fit for every client, and some may have seen the therapist at Massage Envy and be perfectly happy with their experience, just the same as you may go see Veronica and think that I'm crazy too. We all have different needs, and as therapists, we all interpret our clients' wants/needs and have different ways to reach those goals. I definitely side more with making sure I understand your wants/needs prior to beginning the massage, and hope you'll also be honest with me during your time on the table and tell me what you need to have done differently if I'm not quite getting it right for you. As a client, you have only so much time on the table--however, if my schedule allows, I may suggest you take a little more time so I can really work out what needs attention/what brought you in--and I value your time and want to make it a good investment for you. 

Have you ever had a massage at a student clinic at one of the massage schools around town? What has your experience at a massage chain (Massage Envy, Elements, etc) been like? What is your "best massage ever" story? Worst?

A Dose of Inspiration: Keep Moving

So you know this much about success: Make goals, break them down, and start checking steps off your to-do list, right? An important piece to keep in mind is to keep moving. You sit down, and it's SO much harder to get back up and work on the next step. Keep your head up, take deep belly breaths, focus. Remember why you're doing it, how much better you'll feel when you've finished it, what difference it will make in your life, who else will benefit from the end result with you. 

Keep moving.

And don't be reluctant to pat yourself on the back when you reach your goal. I am a big proponent of rewarding myself for a job well done. The reward doesn't have to be huge. I'm a bit like Pavlov's Dog when I'm at work--I've developed a tradition of allowing myself one piece of Dove dark chocolate after each massage I give. Keeps my sweet tooth in check. ;) 

I'm also about to get my next massage scheduled--after many hard hours working in our backyard this week, it's almost done, and I am SOO ready to rest and treat my body to some TLC. And I highly recommend you do the same! ;) 

Got the second stump out yesterday.

Hard to believe there used to be 2 trees growing in the middle of the yard, then 2 big holes from taking out the stumps, huh? Can't wait to make it grass instead of dirt now!!

Yes, I know I need more massages than just after lots of hard yardwork, but I also know how much more enjoyable it will be to know that I won't have to do more yardwork still, after I've gotten a massage. Once the grass seed is down & covered, I will relax. Ahhh....can't wait!

Finding Your Rhythm

Rhythms are a natural part of life that help soothe and comfort us. People are drawn to the rhythms in music. Babies are drawn to the rhythm of their mother's heartbeat. Our bodies are built for rhythm. Rhythmic movements, rhythmic breath.

When these rhythms are off, the result is noticeable. Any of my family can tell you my musical sense of rhythm is very poor. Fortunately for me, I chose to work with bodies, not music! 

Back to the body, yoga and tai chi help the body learn to move more smoothly and build strength in places prone to weakness to keep our bodies balanced against stressors in their daily use. You notice when this rhythm is off when you find a "catch" in your back/neck/shoulder/hip. 

Most people don't think much about their breathing or the impact it can make on their body. It is helpful to practice breathing exercises to avoid putting strain on weaker muscles in the neck and upper back, and to develop the diaphragm muscle. Begin with visualizing an oval. As you reach the end of your inhale, you are at the top of the oval, and as you complete your exhale, pause at the bottom of the oval before returning to the inhale. Done correctly, this exercise should not cause you to become dizzy or hyperventilate.

Your breathing can also impact the results of your massage sessions. When you breathe in a rhythm, I can adjust my techniques to work in sync with your body. Particularly when working with a trouble spot, it is helpful to focus on your breathing. I will lighten my pressure or pause while you inhale, and as you exhale slowly, I will work into the trouble spot. When you and I work in rhythm in this way, your guard is released so your muscles aren't resisting the work, your body becomes more receptive to the work I'm doing, and faster progress can be made.

Working in rhythm with my clients' breathing is one of my favorite things, unfortunately, not a lot of my clients utilize this tool they possess. It is my hope that by addressing it here, clients will become more aware of how to get even better results from their sessions with me.

Name Your Price

I'm curious. I know there are some businesses out there that function solely on letting their customers/clients decide for themselves how much they will pay for services received. 


So if money wasn't the object that prevented you from getting massages, and you could comfortably afford them, how much value would it hold for you?


Or, if money is an object for you, but you still go for massages, what would you feel comfortable paying? 


I'm hoping for some feedback here. Very curious to know how my clients truly value their massages. And don't worry, I'm pretty tough. You won't hurt my feelings one way or another. :)

Variations in Massage Experiences

So, I had a massage about a week and a half--2 weeks ago, sure. That one focused so much at my hips and glutes, and it was helpful, but I didn't get the full body massage, so the rest of me still felt like it needed work.


Yesterday, I happened to have only one appointment booked, and my evening open, so I checked in with my regular therapist trading buddy. Amazingly, she was open too! 


Can you believe I got a massage that was an hour and 45 minutes long?? I did not expect her to go that long, but clearly, I needed it. And even at the end, I had asked her if she could do a little more on my right triceps, but she just had to stop because she had other plans last night too. 


It was amazing. Well, to be honest, I was freezing cold the whole time, because, naturally, I'm cold blooded. And maybe because her room has a tile floor that insulates the cold weather quite nicely, and she doesn't keep the heat on when she's not working. It is now my fault if her heater ignites a fire, because I tell ya... that room needs constant heat! 


(Insert therapist voice: Please tell me if you are ever too cold while getting a massage from me. It is not fun to be shivering, I know. And please tell me if you're cold because of my cold hands. I haven't found the cure-all, but I can sure try to offset a few things to help them be warmer if it's an issue.)


After my massage, the family went out to dinner at Bugatti's with a gift card I got from referring clients to Complete Health Chiropractic Center. We've been wanting to go there for a long time, and finally, the gift card gave us the push to do it finally.


Oh, how I wish we'd discovered that restaurant sooner!! DE-licious!! They had a fantastic family style special that we tried, and were very impressed with it all. We forgot to ask for our pizzas on whole wheat, so of course that's our fault, and they goofed and made a Thai Chicken pizza instead of our BBQ pizza, then started the BBQ, told us the mistake, and gave us the Thai free of charge too! We weren't super crazy for the Thai pizza, but the way they handled it, combined with the deliciousness of everything else...we will definitely be going back.


What a great day: my one appointment I had yesterday was a birthday present for a 13 year old getting his first massage, then the longest massage I've ever received, followed by delicious (I just can't find a better word--sorry for over-using it!) dinner. I've had two other first-massage clients this week too: one of those was for her birthday also, and the other is getting care from a car accident. 


Hope you are enjoying your week as much as I am. If you're out of dinner ideas, load your crew up and check out Bugatti's (or just go again if you've maybe forgotten how good it is). And if it's been a while since you've had a massage, give me a call--I've got some open time again today and tomorrow afternoon too. And I keep the heat on. You might have to ask me to turn it down, because I like it warm!

Changes vs Mental Blocks

How many times have you decided you want to make a change in your life? Lots I'm sure. How many times have you achieved your goal? Many less if you're like most of us.

I'm seeing more often, or at least more clearly, that people often say they want to make changes in their lives, but just don't give it what it takes to get it done. It amazes me how many times I have to read some suggestion before I believe in it enough to utilize it, but once I do, I reach my goals so much faster and wonder why I hadn't just done it the first time I came across it.

What I am understanding better now, is that as much as we will decide we want something in life, we aren't always ready to get it right away. Sometimes other changes have to take place first to prepare us, or help us see that what we thought we wanted doesn't really help us fulfill the needs of our souls. 

That's getting deeper than I intended here, and I'll get back on track.

In terms of our bodies, we may be holding tension and need a massage to feel better, but don't always book the appointment. We instead make ourselves believe we don't deserve it, or can't afford it. I understand. I've been there. Heck, I AM there. Here's my confession: it's been 4 months since my last massage. For a while, I had a mental block against letting myself get another one because I still owed my therapist buddy from our last trade. I've now repaid that debt to her, and even got my appointment booked with her, but had to cancel thanks to a darn cold. And now our schedules are not matching up and I'm really starting to feel how overdue I am. 

My mental block is gone now, and I am fully ready to go do some "market research"--that's my fancy way of being able to write off paying for a massage--and try out a different therapist. I do love to trade with my usual buddy, but I also like to pick up on new techniques from other therapists too. And I need a massage.

I also feel like I give a better massage after I've gotten one. I suppose it refreshes in my mind how my client is feeling during their session and what I can do to make it their best massage.

Hopefully, by next week, I'll be able to share all about my latest massage and have a few new techniques to put to work. 

When you are ready to experience them for yourself, I will be here, and will be happy to help you reach your goals.